Free rude joke 1


shy but handsome fellow is sitting at a club, sipping a cocktail, and sees a beautiful woman seated alone at the bar. After an hour of screwing up his courage he finally heads over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, hi. Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar turns in unison and stares at them. Naturally, the poor guy is hopelessly”

“hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he shuffles back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, 200 dollars an hour! ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”

Masturbation always leads to sex. It's a gateway tug.


He's so ugly he has to buy flowers for his own hand.


What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.


Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.


Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.


I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."


What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.



PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.


Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.



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