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The Top 50 greatest ever jokes by Tommy cooper.
30. I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.
29. 'I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?" '
28. 'A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." '
27. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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