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In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighbourhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don't ask her out again.
Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
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