free Irish joke at work
Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding. "Are ya dead?" cried Gallagher from above. "To be sure I am," replied Murphy. "You are such a liar Murphy that I don't know whether to believe you or not!" Called Gallagher. "That proves I'm dead," said Murphy's voice from the rubble below, "because if I was alive you wouldn't be game to call me a liar!"
free Irish joke at quiz
Dublin's contestant in an international quiz was waiting for his first question. "First, what's your name and occupation?" The compare asked. "Pass", came the reply.
Q: What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by swallowing 100 pain killers?
A: After two he began to feel better.
free Irish joke at airport
Paddy was coming through the customs at the airport carrying a large bottle. "What have you there?" said a suspicious customs officer. "Tis Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me", said Paddy. "The officer took the bottle and tried some." Why it's Irish whiskey!" he spluttered. "Lord bless me!" said Paddy, "another bloomin`miracle."
"Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. "It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for your present sorry state!" "I'm glad to hear you say that," replied Murphy, with a sigh of relief. "Everybody else says it's all my fault!"
A small Irish Coffin maker who was also a bit of a prankster was on his way to deliver a coffin one evening when his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.
An Irish policemen saw him and said, "Hey, where did you get that coffin and where are you going?”
The man replied, “I didn't like where I was buried so I'm relocating.”
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