What happened to the Irish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.


How do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree?

Wave.


 Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin

Irish man going to Heaven

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


























Free Irish Jokes with Mike Tyson.

Mike Tyson walks into an Irish pub.
He shouts I am mike Tyson i have 26 million pounds and i only sleep with white women
Paddy walks up to him and whispers in his ear.
Mike punches him and knocks him out.
When paddy comes round his mates ask him what he's said and paddy replied.
Yeah if i had 26 pounds i wouldn't fuck niggers either.













funny free Irish joke

Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery's waiting room.

"I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!"


Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?

A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"


Irish Vacation

Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A:  A different bar.











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